that's how the cookie crumbles

We have a greater sense of responsibility to other rather than family.

or

we believe each other so much we believe that without their help we'll be fine and be able to do it.

or

they really dont have time to help.. so why are they sitting there watching tv

or

maybe they are so ignorant about some stuff they dont see the picture at all. They say look at the big picture, but you need to look at the picture in the first place.

or

... I cant think of any more positive/optimistic statements
it is just pushing me away

a few days ago, I re-thought over my thoughts, and considered not to go ahead with it, because without me no one... will help my parents.
[ps. i promised people i will not be disappearing any time soon SO!!!! I am not going to die. Even if aliens abduct me i will return to earth and get me a pretty girl. Even if i get hit by a truck i will not die until i get a pretty nurse. Even if i lose in my ninja/samurai battle... I will not lose unless it is a pretty girl.... you got the point =] I promise]

I ... I dont know what it is.. I dont have enough courage? I dont have enough anger? I dont .. why... i have been more than patient. I really dont understand. They have even readjusted themselves to suit "them", when "they" dont deserve it.

to be called lazy... no. That pushed it. unhappy about being called lazy? <- how stupid. you have called yourself lazy many times before, why start now? [you ask]
omaera touzen wakanai kara, damare.

It isnt fair to call them lazy because... compared to me and definitely to "them" they arent lazy at all. I dont understand why i had to start trying during the exams period. maybe because help left before exam period. because during exam period "they" have excuses. but "they" really dont understand.

I say this as if i understand. I am sure i dont understand, but i understand more than them.



bhavya where is my punching bag you were meant to get me half a year ago T_________T


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4 hrs to study computing. or shall i sleep less and study more. I think i shall study more and sleep MUCH less.