124

last post was 123th post

Well.. Let's see.

Why am I up? To tire myself so i can sleep

Why can't I sleep? I studied... and for some reason I can only study properly at night - in the garage making funny noises and singing to myself or humming a out of tune random song.

Mmm well studies are going pretty smoothly for maths =P there is physics and computing i ought to think about. One at a time? The fact that I am leaving myself 1 day to study physics is stupid. So I have started learning and going through some phys before.. but I am not loving it as much as I am loving calculus [atm].

Well it got to the point where, there was no time to stress. Be it relaxing and forgetting stressful emotions or study and forget stress cos you're concentrating. Stress is just a load of poop. What use does it do? So despite not studying for a large portion or my morning, even after waking up at 8, productivity is the key.

Productively work, productively eat, productively play.

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Question: Do you guys remember what you were feeling at the end of year 11? And throughout yr 12?

I do.. I remember how intense it was [relatively]. And how lost everyone has become to you. How it was only you sticking up for yourself - because 1. no one could help you 2. everyone was too busy to think of a way to help you

It was THIS after THIS after THIS. I guess uni is similar except - you work on your own terms. Depending on your course you are restricted to how far your "terms" can go but nevertheless, you still want to fit more into your already busy timetable.

- it is late and I have no idea what I am on about =P

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Well what did I achieve today?

I went lemon hunting [seriously...] I got a looooonnng stick and smacked the lemon tree a little and, as if falling from the gods, golden lemons dropped and rolled by my feet.

I re-did 2 past papers [that I spent 2 days on]

I did a test paper under time conditions and became ecstatic at how far I have come within a matter of a week.

I had a picnic with my family [on out lawn, sitting on some chairs staring at the garden, in the sun, with the colours of green and blue contrasting each other]

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I'll back onto this after exams but..

I wish I could tell you, show you, what it is that I am feeling. It isn't easy to describe, but put trust in the two feet you stand on and hold firmly onto what you believe in with your two arms and walk towards your goals. It's okay. It'll be all okay.

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music me!!! <-----------<<<
music arrow that is music-ing me to death