ideal woman

yesterday i thought i would just jump into it. but i now rkn people will be offended by it.
however.. there has only be 4 views ;] so what the heck. atm i am feeling really... hsc-ed. a mixture of confusion, depression, and many emotions you can think of, all muddled up due to one thing. hsc.

anyways my ideal woman would be:
- elegant
- has a nice smile, and laugh [not cackley
- motivating
- captivating
- considerate
- compassionate
- understanding
- open minded

and the list may go on. but note that physical beauty isnt on the list. yes a nice body and a pretty face is a plus. but it only goes as far as the bedroom. what happens outside of the bed?
also, being a person of many misfortunes and literally built by misunderstandings, this girl... is gonna cop a lot of shiz from me.

lately.. i seem to be getting in trouble for things i dont even do ==" for the record, and because i cant tell people straight without being judged, i dont like anyone atm. girls to me at the moment, are just.. trouble.. if i do like them i get introuble. i talk to them likfe friends, i get looks. ... [end]

baaah... school life is quite lonely now =/ i can talk to girls, guys are too ignorant to understand. so it is just me at the table, surrounded by groups, but not part of any.

i dont know if my friendships are still solid. it isnt really anything i can do. i have ignored these judgemental thoughts, and looks. but in the end, it still comes back. for a while before, home was the best place...

balance... =/ it is so difficult to balance home life with school life. for me, it has been good at home and bad at school. or good at school and bad at home. strange =/

i give up for today