bummer

Have you guys ever experienced when you just don't seem to be talking loud enough? For me, my mum or grandma says something and I, naturally, reply. Right? Instead they go "HUH?" and I have to repeat myself, and yet, "HUH??" as if I am deaf. I don't know, maybe my voice isn't the shouting time. I admit, at times, it tends to bend in it's surroundings. But I can be loud if I want... just for not very long ^^|

But seriously, my mum and grandma, they keep asking for my answer, and I swear I say it louder every time, and when they DO get the reply, they tell me not to be so angry! T__T Firstly, how can I not be so angry after answering 5 times, every question.. next, [I AM NOT ANGRY!!! >=( jks jks] I am not angry T__T jst trying to get my message across. =/ I don't know when I am loud.. but when I think I am, I stop in my tracks and be quiet. I don't like being in the spotlight... it is so uncomfortable. 0.0 [others think otherwise]

Anyways, I must give a special shout out to Uzzi for turning a dismal night to a productive one. [ps. I got my notification from AFS, and it wasn't good so I was feeling crappy]
and to MC =] ahhh, my little chicken wing [mmm chicken.... ] hahah my little soldier in a short funny girl's body. Hang in there! And I'll give you a hug any time you want! hehe

mmm well... I haven't had the heart to write much lately [maybe in the holis] so I'll stop and stare (8) I mean, stop and study =P zomg.. feeling really like a girl ==" anyways. It's a bummer.

remember killing is bad! so instead of saying "kill two birds with one stone" [cos you are super muscly] say "bought two cakes with one dollar" ;) it suits me perfectly

and dont worry about HSC so quickly, "you eat a cake one bite at a time" [1 step of a time uses too much energy =P]

mata ne

who are you?

Many of us have or will ask yourselves "who am I?" and the answer is never an easy one. The answer cannot be communicated as it is too complicated for language and the mind to comprehend, yet too simple for any of us to believe. I am not sure about others, but I find it really easy to change oneself. Not completely but enough to not be the same person as before. A reason for why some people don't see this is because we grow together with the same group of friends, if someone from the group meet new people, they aren't the same guaranteed.

So a better question, a simpler question, would be "who do I want to be?" now think about it, there are many different types of people out there it is a matter of what you like and do not like. Though it is not like a candy store where you name out a lolly and you get it straight away for cheap, it is a similar concept. However, it requires patience, work and time. These words alone are never enough to explain what it is, and how to do it. There is no step by step book, but good starters are environment [ie. people around you - influences], constant reminders [you gotta catch yourself] ... this is a ridiculous topic, bet you everyone will be like bleaugh.

OK same sort of topic for the girls -

What do you like most in a guy? Mature and gentlemanly? Or fun and enjoyable?
I can guess the answer is "it is different people"...... you know what..? just answer the poll. blogging about it gives me second thoughts, rights and wrongs. bah i am getting annoyed at myself hahaha

Different Person

I am not the same boy I was before all the atrocities of my mistakes had settled it. My emotions are raw, like the surface of a new cut metal. I am nothing like what I was before. Before the mistakes. During the times of hardship, I wished so much to revert back to the way it was before, but I knew it could never happen. I have developed much greater than I thought I would be. Not the same, but greater. I couldn't feel more alive. Somethings are necessary. I did at one point regret some things, but I do not now. It was a learning process, one with the help of many many friends. Friends that I can count on, friends that are themselves, and drumming reality into my mind. Dear and humble friends that without knowing, are developing not just themselves, but people around them as well. I am almost done with watching, it is almost time to just jet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well first day of school wooh! It actually wasn't that bad. Besides English which I am so stressed about, everything was not bad. My concentration level is at a high =] productive lessons all the way! Almost did all maths questions in class =D and senior it wasn't as hard to be productive. BUT it might just be start of school syndrome.

Start of school syndrome = where you set goals so determined, it happens on the first few days and then you forget as time passes.

We got our jerseys!! but it was pretty anti-climatic when we can't wear it till after trials or on Wednesdays. I was going to wear it to tutor, but then realised it would be a little weird, so I shall wait till I wear it a few times and be confident in it =P DONT WORRY I love Hurlstone, just not confident in myself yet ;) well enough.. [didn't make sense]

I also have the post camp blues - sad because you aren't at camp anymore. Well I did, but Hurlstoners made me happy again =] So, though I miss some people from camp, I wouldn't have it any other way.

state of mind - happy, but not clear. The answer is in my head, but I don't really want to accept it ^^|

back from camp

Camp was magnificent, the people was awesomely nice, every one of them surprisingly. Study was decent, and the food was fabulous. Didn't know uni students can cook that well. I am inspired. One thing I don't want to do is study more though :L *shrugs* it was a memorable 6 days or so.

"I hope I don't lose what I gained"

well back to studying for the HSC and then .. *yawn* I want to sleep =]

riddle?

I’m as light as a feather, yet I can destroy everything.
I am as clear as the sky, yet no one can see me.
And existing, to you, is a matter breathing.
I was here much longer than you, I decree.
Strangely, when I am present things are on the ground,
But when I am not, things float around and around
There is none far far away
But this place, everywhere, I am here to stay.
As complex as this riddle may seem
It is a common thing you do know
And a clue, ask yourself where is steam.
And that, my good friends, is the end of the show.

^^|

courtesy to study camp