We smile

, be brave and put on that smile, holding back on words that would never come out right and walk. Walk forward to what may never seem like reality. We take each day without realising much. Taken for granted, the day just passes, as we distract ourselves from what is true. Some say reality and truth hurts; some say reality and truth is what we decide it to be; others... well the others are too ignorant [or busy] to care.

We are all these, and yet none. How can something as arbitrary as this be so definite?

~~~~~~~~

ZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzZZ

yet no ZZZZZ

ZZZzzzzZZzzzZZZZzzzzZZzzzzzZZZZzzz

These hands...

Don't look at these hands.

These labourer's hands...

They have been stains with blood, sweat and pain.

They have brought happiness, stress and hardship.

They have been punished for my silly thoughts, my anger and stupidity.

These hands are my history that tell you what I cannot tell you myself.

These hands do not lie, like I wish to. After all, there is no point in making others worry when nothing can be done.

My pain is my own, and if there were times I could share the load - I will.

My hands will prove to you how mature I have become.

My hands hopefully with convince you to trust in me.

So trust in these hands, and walk forward with me - to something we all hope is good.

~~~~~

Imagine you were a never ageing 18 year old. You have gotten over all your hormones and what not [sure if you wish you could revisit your hormones but this is not the point...] Anywho, you are not going to die unless you get killed 10 billion times or something. Ok you some how appeared right after the dinosaurs have disappeared. The only human on the planet until you wait for humans to evolve from Neanderthals.

Now think about the climate. It is the ice age at which the dinosaurs have just died from [lots of food kept cool from rot =P] and then you get the stage flicking to and from ice ages. Then it steadies within the next 50 million years. Slowly you get relatively warm and get averages. humans start to think "productively" and then before you know it the industrial revolution starts. Imagine the types of people you would have met up to this point.

Vikings, Pharaohs, geniuses, the commoners, the sick, the rich. Imagine you have knowledge of them all - their culture and everything about their society. Then the industrial rev. Within another 250 years we are in the present. Today. Right now.

With at least 200 billion years of knowledge. What do you think will happen in the next 100 years. In the next 1000 years and the next million or even 200 billion years?

Don't know about you, but I reckon humans might not be here in the next 3000 years. Humans have been around for at least 4000 years now right? In the past 300 years we have become most populated, and most destructive of our 4000 or so years of existence. [humans as in those that wear clothes and what not.] At the rate we are going I'd give it 500 years before things get really bad and wooh! nature is saved!

Well it doesn't matter. We won't live to see this happen to us right? Wrong - you don't die and forever 18. =]

This wasn't meant to make you sad or what not. Just don't lose sight of the bigger picture - because everyone needs a reminder once in a while.

~~~~~

going to be busy for the next billion years [trying to save man kind =P] so see you next time i have less hw than expected or trying to procrastinate =]

Are you a-maze-d?

For those bored beings out there that has internet, no study to do, and not HD to aim for [not really] youtube Sungha Jung. I don't exactly know his background, but he is... so talented.. I can only wish to be that talented in a billion years. As long as I don't get arthritis and too old =]

~~~~

Something sort of outraged me the other day.

Firstly, do YOU believe in the idea of climate change? Have YOU challenged this notion of climate change? Eh.. well in my lecture we watched a video about the fact that climate change ie. global warming is false and does not exist. By the end of it I was feeling quite sick.. strangely. Why? It isn't because I really believe in climate change but because I could pick out a flaw in almost all of their points they put forward.. The manipulation of information...

Now that I think about it.. it quite reminds me of myself ^^| You probably question why, and it is something that shall stay unanswered till I find an answer myself.

Any who, there was some "scientific" information and results saying that the stratosphere should be warmer than the surface of the Earth but results show otherwise. I couldn't say anything about it. There was only two ways you could determine those results, satellite and balloon. So someone can try convince me - but note I am not one to be persuaded until I find out myself.

- Well throughout the video, it only seemed to be two sides. Those that firmly believe in global warming, and those that firmly do not. I want to tell those who are ready to jump at each other's throats to slow down and calm down... clearly this has been brought up before but both sides of these extreme views have shunned the "fence sitter".

# my view #

In all honestly, I couldn't be too bothered about the technicalities. I want my children, and my children's children and the children of the future to experience the beauties of what this world can show us. Over these 18 years I have seen wondrous things, and I can already see some disappearing. I want to see blue sky where ever I go when I am old and even more wrinkly.

I don't see any reason not to reduce the amount of carbon used. It only causes pollution. It provides electricity but so can greener forms. It'll use up a lot of infrastructure but think about the benefits of doing this.

Also, eventually - sooner or later - fossil fuels will disappear and then what? We are screwed. We end up fighting with swords ... no not even sticks and stones. [no fire to make swords =P or is there?? O____o]

~~~~

nande itsu are ga mietara kimochi ga warui ni naru...

shinji arenai kamoshiranai

hayai sugiru kamoshiranai

sona koto zen zen wakanai ka?

nande imin ga wakanai?

~~~~

It isn't like walking up a mountain - where your legs burn but you continue and don't stop.

It isn't like a marathon - where breathing hurts and your head is light headed

It isn't like drowning - where gasping for breath only cough and instincts tell you to run.

It is like sitting high up and landing on your head.

Like the numbness of the pain - though you know you hurt something precious

It is the involuntary skip of the heart - causing you to gasp for air.

Like the cramps of chest muscles making it hard to gasp and no matter up much you breath the heart will not slow down.

It is like the dizziness when you run so much and so suddenly that you are not only light headed, but need to throw up.

It is like constantly working hard but not getting anywhere - and you don't feel deserving to complain because you know there are others worse off, and if not, there were people worse off.

But you can't help but feel strangely helpless.

You pick yourself up again, dust yourself off and continue for the [some number]th time.

"It isn't as bad really, it could be worse, it'll be ok."

~~~~~

Hahaha cryptic msg after cryptic msg. I guess it is late and you know who comes out at this hour? ReNu my arch-enemy. We have fought many battles before, but it seems he has been quite over powering lately. Once I chopped him up and chucked him in the pan... I ate him and then 12 hrs later he came walking through the door completely fine - ready to fight. That day I post poned the fight till I completely digested.

- yes it is all just blabber and doesn't make sense.

1.11 - [as least it was] I wish my arm would bloody stay put so I can punch my sofa into pieces.

~~~~~

Clouded by your beauty I sit there stunned by what is in front of me. I search through my memory to see your smile again. I sit there in the corner searching when I realise, it isn't your smile I am looking for... but for my own. You were always smiling.

~~~~~

yokatara... kotoshi mo, kore kara mo, zutto itsudemo... yoroshiku tanomu.

uphill or downhill?

Imagine something so beautiful. A painting of some sort... the original is too your left, and the duplicate is on your right. You can tell which one is which. Which side do you choose to look at?

What if there were obstacles that prevent you from seeing the whole original painting? Would you look at the whole of the duplicate or do you look at parts of the original?

In this instance you cant move towards the painting because you are moving forward. Not by choice, but because you are in a vehicle... ok this isn't going to make sense to anyone so =] yamemasu.

~~~~

tsu... ka... re... ta.

I don't even feel lazy. Though I do feel like my efforts are useless. I guess the end results do matter most.

and so... ZZzzzzZzzzz

~~~~

riddle that I forgot earlier today.

I have forgotten my bank pin number - but I won't ever forget because it is associated with the children's song/game "Head, shoulders, knees and toes". The Pin number is 4 numbers long. What is my pin number.

~~~~

To be honest it is quite similar to the riddle's that have been going around lately. ie. why 4 is cosmic and how many horses are there?

-----


distraction... distraction distraction. I think it is not working. I can take the other approach, but... but yeah ^^

oyasumi iromono

anta he,

ehhh.... my toes have taken a bashing today hahah. I don't think they are bruised yet ;] my toes have been conditioned so it is ok ;P lols from being stepped on to kicking stuff and having the vacuum crush them. it is invincible =P

~~~~~~

What do you value? What do you really value? From your answer I shall decide if you are selfish or understandingly selfish. I am unsure if you understand the situation you are in. Despite this, you will find out in due time. From what I see and have noted, your time will come soon, but you will not learn. I can act but I do not wish to, or, I do not feel I should. You may have fooled everyone, or you may have fooled me, but I will be, and am not, sitting there doing nothing. You might think you are clear - but I am watching you.

This is a warning. If you hurt that that I value. I will not hold back, and I will not care for the consequences.

I do think of the consequences, and they do frighten me a little, but when the time comes I will not give a pigs poop. I cannot think of any other way I can approach this situation. As long as you do not hurt or burden what I value - I will only sit back and be cautious.

To no-one.

~~~~~~

What I have ticked off the list earlier, in June.

- guitar

- camp

- draw

- visit japan [in my head]

- see thomas

- play a little bit of games

- read manga

- watch K-on!

- watch my boss my hero

- watch anime

- go to Adam's, David's and Thomas's [and maybe Hanson's house] (alphabetical order)

- run around like a crazy man [sorta]

- eat lots and lots and lots .... and lots.

- clean my clothes for the next sem [it might look new if I do]

- see friends and eat friends - they were yummy =]

- [not yet] clean up desk and room - but I have cleaned the house twice on my own.. and then was too tired to clean everything else ^^|

That is 16/23 however, 4 of the original were duds. so 16/19 - not bad. though did most of it in the first 2 weeks haha. and watched anime in the last 2 =P