another one of these

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.......(_||_) lolol super bunny anyone??

At this point in time. I have thought of all the many things to write about. In fact i have posted a few things and deleted them. I don't know if what I write offends people or not. Frankly, I could care less if it were randoms. I guess..


Look... I am a very confused (I don't know if I can call myself a child anymore) person. Everything seems awkward unless YOU make it not [with me that is]. blah I don't particularly feel like explaining myself. BASICALLY, I feel very unworthy of many things. With problems, I normally will run, if not, I choose the worst route to get there. I really do not know where all my head is going to. I am guessing it is just empty space. [sheesh.. I feel like something that I told myself I wouldn't feel] pretty stupid right? some how it has worked for the past few years.

I really do not know who I am, what I have become, and how people see of me. As stupid as this may sound, I see myself as the truth (about me) I know what I have done, I cannot lie to myself. Bias...? I am not sure if I can be bias towards myself. To some people will think I am putting myself down. To some, I am not degrading myself enough.

In my opinion, I ask how much more suffering must I take before you are happy? There is no contentment in my eyes. It is just my mistakes. Yeah I tend to see some light and believe it is your fault time to time, yet.. are you happy? I clearly am not. True I am smiling and laughing time to time, but once this has come to my attention.. it is hard to explain.


I am really sick and tired of molding myself... to suit others.. I hear you. Then stop right? How do you stop who you are? Hence, my crappy sense of myself as being one person. Maybe in one point in time you will hear me say that I am more than one person. That's because I feel that way... the more I write about this crap, the more emo you will think I am. I don't reckon I am, mentally at least. Emos regarding to their cutting and making themselves suffer for attention is just stupid.




~~~ there has to be an answer... a solution... ~~~